On sharing

"You're not the boss of this cupcake"

Brookside K Graduation

Stop already!

"We got a new skateboard. Mom keeps buying skateboards."

At least it was in the toilet

"Hey, Dad. I just vominated."

Thanks, Buzz

While watching Home Alone:

Q: "Mom, what does 'his ass' mean?"
A: His butt

Conditional love

"Give me a hug. Then I'll be nice to you."

Buzz off

"Hey, Bees. Stop following me. I'm not a flower."

After winning at "Balloon Lagoon"

"I'M THE WINNER!" (+ dance)

After losing at Balloon Lagoon

"Well if you win, we have to play again. If I win, we're done."

After losing at "Let's go Fish"

"Hey Dad! I just read the instructions. It says whoever gets the less wins. So I win."

Pitch girl

" I like Trader Joe's. It has all the good stuff."

After an argument (that I won)

"You know, dad. Kids are smarter than adults."

Who dya see in NYC?

Me: "Emmi. You know where I was yesterday? New York City."

Emmi: "Oh. Do you know who lives there? Undonna*."Did you see her?"

* Madonna

To the dog, about to go to the beach

"OK. Your best part of the day is now."

On manners

"Can I have milk with no 'please'?"