Looking at a Van Gogh painting in a book

"Where are the cars?"

Unwanted tickling

"That makes me very grumpy."

When I missed a turn

"Dad, you screwed up."

Counting to 40

"25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 2010, 2011, 2o12, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 20"

I honestly didn't

"You said I'm not a good girl."

About anything that should be ridiculed

"That's delikulous"

As she rolls a boat over her brother's head in the bath

"And now the train goes over the rickety old bridge"

Why mummy needs to catch her at the bottom of the water slide

"Otherwise, my mouth will cough"

Dinner. Guess where?

"I want chocolate milk, chicken nuggets and a toy. That's it."

Taking turns with Daddy

"Why is it your turn forever?"

Those planes

"I had a bad dream. There was a nasty aero clane and it chased the dinosaurs into the train."

First thing in the morning

"Will you come with me to the garage because, guess what, the light's are closed?"

To a new friend in the park

"You know what. Last time. There was lots of birds. They were having a party in the sky"

Now that we've made it absolutely clear that "potty" words can only be used in the bathroom

"OK, I'm in the bathroom ... Poo-poo, diaper"

Why you can't wear flip flops to the park when it's been raining

"They'll get runed"

On the way into the supermarket

"Watch out. The sharks are coming."

Pins and needles

"My needles have gone. Why do needles burn?"

A poet who surely knows it

"Hey, whop-it and stop-it rhymes"

Phone call

"Your bell's ringing"

About our dog

"Look he's sad. He's not wagging his tail."

Looking at a ballerina dress

"I don't like it - it's too cute"

Uh-oh

"I'm just smelling the pen and it really smells good"

Emmi, are your ears popping?

"They're not balloons. They don't even have strings coming out of them"

I wish I could

"Dad, can you buy some money so we can get a new car?"

Traffic insight

"What will happen if you drive on the other side? Will you smush?"

Without that much provocation

"Stop. You're bothering me"

Unofficial tryout as new Subway spokesperson

When entering the store: "Mmmm, that smells so good"

Hygiene update

"We don't share at school. Because we have germs"

After I scowled at her

"Don't have your grouchy voice on"

After some minor infraction

"Your face looks serious"

Putting on her PJs

"Can you inside out this for me, please?"

On a rainy day (2)

"I like it when it's raining. There's puddles"

On a rainy day (1)

"Are we not having suncream on today?"

Emmi, can you give me a cookie?

"No, actually. They are almost all gone." (pause) "I can give you half."

Music forward

"Put on Lily Allen. She's my favorite"

While dissecting a cookie

"I'm taking the nuts off. I don't like them But it's going to make a mess. You can clean it, right?"

Spelling bee

"Bee starts with "b" - hey that rhymes!"

My Xmas list so far

1. Skate shoes
2. Dinosaur lunch box
3. Black pants and red shirt

While playing the tickle game

"Be careful. I'm a fragile girl"

While drawing on the computer

"Look, daddy - a hats-on-gon" (and it was)

Fed up with daddy always praising her for finishing her food

"When I'm done with my spaghetti, don't say NOTHING"

Something from my era

"Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da..... Batman"

A point of clarification while trying on some pink crocs

"I do like girl things. I just don't like girls"

On the way back from Stinson Beach along the coastal road

"Don't drive down the mountain. It's too deep and we'll tip"

Before sliding down the side of the bath and making a huge splash that washed over the sides and soaked the floor

"This is going to be special"

After I told her that I had already made her milk and it was upstairs

"I'm going bananas"

Talking to her brother

"Oh Ian you are cute! I love you!" (long pause) "but I want another brother"

After I breathed on her

"Your breath is stinky"

After having her toe nails painted red and then going to school the next day

"Evan thought it was blood"

On being told that the water by the pier was too deep to swim in

"Can you tell the man to take the plug out?"

On being a vampire

"Daddy, I just ate some of my own blood"
(where "blood" turned out to be the filling of a Pop Tart)

While telling off someone

"Listen to my words"

After at least 50 turns at "ring around the rosy"

"Let's do it again"

On the way to the swimming pool

"Hey, Ian, look at me. I am cute"

Quoting from a movie we've watched a million times

"You think you can do these things, but you can't daddy" (Nemo)

Trying to listen to Sgt Pepper in the car

"Why do you guys have to talk all the time? I can't hear NOTHING"

After crying

"Well I have to cry sometimes when you tell me things I can't do"

After Ian pushed her

THAT IS NOT OK!

First time jumping in on her own and first time swimming without a lifejacket

Before:

After:

"Can I have a treat now?"

On imitation

"Don't coffee me"

In about five seconds

"Can I have some milk? Can I have some milk... please? I'm thirsty. I need milk. Can I have some? Can you get it for me? Can I have milk? I want milk."

About food in general

"Healthy food doesn't taste that good"

Spirit in the Sky

"Too Loud is coming"

Note:

Somehow, for Emmi, the Warner Bros logo has become an evil spirit called "Too Loud". Our theory is that, one time when we put a video on, the volume must have been "too loud" and we must have said that at the exact moment the logo appeared.

Now, she can't sleep in her own bed anymore because "Too Loud" comes after her in her dreams. "Too Loud" lives in the sky (as you can clearly see from the logo) but comes down to earth from time to time to cause havoc.

We have started a gentle campaign to discredit "Too Loud". No success so far.

After a power outage

"Do they need new batteries?"

After an argument

"I think we need another brother"

About breakfast

"I want Mabel cookies"

After being told off for some minor infraction

"You are not my friend ANY more"

After eating two cookies

"I think I'm going to have a throw-up"

After making a mess

"I think you need to buy a new couch"