At least it was in the toilet

"Hey, Dad. I just vominated."

Thanks, Buzz

While watching Home Alone:

Q: "Mom, what does 'his ass' mean?"
A: His butt

Conditional love

"Give me a hug. Then I'll be nice to you."

Buzz off

"Hey, Bees. Stop following me. I'm not a flower."

After winning at "Balloon Lagoon"

"I'M THE WINNER!" (+ dance)

After losing at Balloon Lagoon

"Well if you win, we have to play again. If I win, we're done."

After losing at "Let's go Fish"

"Hey Dad! I just read the instructions. It says whoever gets the less wins. So I win."